[TAO: It seems female action figures are designed by men for men, but does this bring on unfair stereotypes and body expectations? Well, let's find out in this brand new article by DrNightmare that offers a woman's opinion (he said it, not me) on female action figures, and then quickly devolves into something altogether more revealing. Read on to see beautiful female toys being mocked in:]
Tonight, we examine a few female figures and gather some thoughts from our 100% Real Woman Guest-Ponderer, Splitty! She's not plastic or inflatable or a figment of my imagination, and she's been kind enough to spend some time with us. The figures we'll be commenting on and making fun of are:
-Cammy (Street Fighter - SOTA)
-Buffy (Deluxe - DST)
-Sue Is-her-last-name-Richards? Hah! (Marvel Legends - Toy Biz)
-Lady Death
Also, I don't know why these are all blonde characters, I guess they symbolize the stereotype that every guy wants a hot Blonde? Stupid sub-conscious!
So, anyway, let's start with everyone's favorite Brit fighter, Cammy!
Splitty: I think this figure is a guy's attempt at realism. If they were trying to make her hot, they would have made the breasts larger, or shown more skin around that area. And the figure looks really good, except one area, which proves a lady didn't make it. The hiney is way too flat and weird looking, and that's one area us ladies are very self conscious about. She looked really good until I saw the backside...the G-string looks painted on a flat back, and not sculpted like the rest of the figure. The scuplting and muscles are all very good on the rest of the figure, but it's like they stopped when they got to that whole piece. There are no hip bones, no muscles, no backside.
DrNightmare: Definitely, the whole butt needs to be re-worked. It looks a little saggy (too long) too, but mainly, I'd be happy if her butt had more depth. I love the muscles on the arms though, this is one of the few female figures where I've actually liked the arms.
Splitty: I like how proportionate the head is, and I always love sculpted bangs, so that's a plus. Lots of times the head or the shoulders aren't the right size, but everything looks really size appropriate. So I dub this a good figure. Those knee joints are actually kinda neat, as they lay flat when the leg is extended. I like her facial expression, she's petulant!
DrNightmare: Yeah, her other head is a flirty winking face. This one is like "I don't want to eat my peas!" And the other head is like "I wanna eat our peas...*wink*"
Splitty: Anyway!...One thing I like about these type of action figs, is that they have more of an hourglass figure, where the older female figures that used to be dubbed 'action' were mostly square torsos, or bow-legged, and stiff jointed that looked manly. ICK.
Speaking of bow-legged.....El Bufferino is suffering from that a tiny bit. Looks like she's about ready to draw down at the O.K. Corral. That's totally the first thing I notice about this figure, and kinda spindly.
DrNightmare: Yeah, I think that's a big problem with a lot of female figures, the skinny arms. It's like the people sculpting them are afraid of making them too big so they err on the smaller side.
Splitty: But when I look past that...OMG the face is so right on! That is totally Buffy Summers, I'm really impressed with that. Nice hair flow too, good in any pose. That is seriously one of the best Buffy likenesses I've seen, and the wrinkles on the clothes are nice. The colors are really striking too, nice red. It's too bad they can't make the shoulder-pads come out a little over the arms, it's like she's got no shoulder-bones. It might limit mobility a little, but would probably look better. The fact that it is super-mobile though is awesome, because as far as female figures go, it makes us want to use her to kick some butt, and not just pose.
Like if you even look back at the first Moore figures, they were pretty neat looking figures, but about all you could make them do was the Russian dance or German march or something...just legs and arms out straight, no knee bends. The later figs had a bit better knee bends, but really still just for simple posing. But even in that small amount of time, we still got an improvement. I can only hope that they take this mobility, and add in some of the earlier Moore's attention to detail and even actual recognizable signature costumes from the show, as well as the interesting accessories that don't seem to come with these new poseable figures. [The older Buffy figures came with a ton of accessories, these recent ones, not so much. -Nightmare]
The one real drawback that I always see with female characters, is that when you put them in a skirt, which is also made out of vinyl, there's almost zero mobility in the bottom half. So far, action figure companies seem to be shy about making real cloth skirts for 6 to 7-inch figures, which would cure that problem, but also limit the newish lifespan as cloth gets worn. Like I'm looking at my older Buffy Druscilla, which is an awesome figure, but she can't even sit down! And she never wore pants, so skirts is all she gets!...Oh no wait, she did wear vinyl pants on Angel... :P
DrNightmare: Have you ever seen a female figure that was perfectly sculpted? Like, with no exaggerations.
Splitty: That's a good question. Yes, but almost always with limitied mobility. The more mobility you add, the less realistic it looks, but they seem to be impoving all the time. I really like the Marvel Legends Storm, specifically the variant in white.
DrNightmare: Would you make Buffy's boobs bigger? I seem to recall seeing them be much larger at times!
Splitty: They could make Buffy's boobs larger, but it wouldn't match the Buffy on the show then. I actually think the torso on that Buffy figure looks pretty good, and I like the flared sleeves and pants-legs too, adds a little extra.
And again, they did a good job with the head size proportions, and the leg and arm length. My only real problem is the bow-legs, but the offset is how awesome the head is, so it's totally a figure I would get. Even in prefrence to the older ones, 'cause I can pose her staking all my big bad men....er I mean vampire....figures...
DrNightmare: On to Sue!
Splitty: I actually think Sue looks pretty great.
DrNightmare: What! She's like a stick with balloons tied to it and the stick has a face! Why do you like her?
Splitty: Hah! Well, while she's not actually a figure I would own (I'd pick the other two over her), she is more realistic, just boring. She's more manly, I guess, but probably more realistic, so in that department I can't pick her apart. Her butt is totally not too big....and that comes from a gal *wink*.
DrNightmare: ...Have a little junk in the trunk, do ya?
Splitty: ALL ladies think they have junk, even if they're skinny ;) It's something we all deal with. The reason why I'm not at all excited about this figure is I'm not too fond of short haired ladies (unless is a cool cut), and her face is a bit cutesy *yawn*. So that along with her squarish shape, I would only buy this if I was into Fantastic 4, which I'm not. Umm....the boobs may be a bit on the 'extra helped' size, but the shape is realistic and not like huge round balloons. I think part of the boringness is that there's hardly any muscle sculpting, which would have added interest.
DrNightmare: Exactly, I hate when they get rid of muscle detail just because there's a spandex suit on the figure. Hello! It's spandex! It stretches to conform to the muscles! These ML figures were the shiznit in terms of articulation back then, but still, not as cool as if the female figures had more defined muscles.
Splitty: Yeah, it just makes the fig look blegh. And if you'll notice, the only wrinkle detail, that shows she's even wearing clothes, is around the breasts. No other knee, leg, arm-wrinklage is visible, and that would have also added interest. In fact, if you were to paint this whole thing in a beige color, it would totally look like she was nekkid except that one area...and it would STILL be boring.
DrNightmare: I have to disagree, naked women are never boring!
Splitty: The difference between Sue and Buffy, Sue being a figure I would NOT buy, and Buffy being a figure I would, is that while Sue's body proportions are ok, the lack of of detail sets her way back and makes her boring, where as Buffy has a small proportion problem, but the details are so great, it makes her a very likeable figure. And Cammy is just great (except her midsecton, which is excusable because everything else rocks).
Hey, does Sue of Fantastic 4 always have the "Girl-next-Door", or "I could be a mother of 4" generic look, or did they make that special for this figure?
DrNightmare: As far as I know, currently she looks like a frikkin' 20 year-old, no wrinkles, no sagging, nothin'. A long time ago she had that Girl-Next-Door look, but whenever she's in a comic where she's about to bang some dude, she is totally drawn as a MILF.
Splitty: Um...okay! I'm really encouraged by the super-poseable figures lately, and a bit excited to see if they keep that up with more exotic lines. Like if they made a super-poseable Lady Death, or Vampire Saviors Morrigan, something with a bit more fantasy and exotic costumes. I'd be totally down for that. I imagine they'll only get better, because if they DON'T... *angry face*
DrNightmare: Do you have time for one more figure?
Splitty: No!
(Note: Splitty couldn't stick around to finish this article, but I have the next best thing: My quasi-friend Esbat pretending to be a woman!)
DrNightmare: Conveniently, here we have Lady Death, the most perfect action figure ever made! Don't you just love it?
Esbat: Well from a face front perspective she doesn't seem to be too "Three Dimensional" as in her comic book appearances. The white skin look is mostly focused on the careful sculpting of her abs and, you know, garter belts carefully hooked to her thong.
DrNightmare: I have no idea what you just said. But please, continue!
Esbat: I have to say, I'm not feeling very appreciated right now!
DrNightmare: Sorry, madam! I will try to be more courteous with my pointing-out of your illogical banter!
Esbat: As I was saying, you miscreant, then you see her from the side and my back muscles start to ache, she seems to suffer from a Liefeld inspired spinal disorder with huge perky breasts that defy all kinds of science. The leg articulation looks very painful the way the thighs are cut to allow her "gams" to swivel into more back pain inducing poses only legally seen inside a burlesque show. All in all I have to say that she's very very comic accurate to the art of the dearly departed Steven Hughes.
DrNightmare: If the Lady Death comic had never been made, and this figure was released just as a random character out for the world to see, would you have any problem with it?
Esbat: I wouldn't have an issue with it if the comics hadn't existed. It depicts the physical form of Death, which is a force of nature, and people can view Death in whatever form they wish to percieve the inevitable, like those bland skeletal figures found on the covers of various metal albums or these voluptuous representations.
DrNightmare: You seem to prefer a female Death avatar over the male, why?
Esbat: Why shouldn't the form that creates life also represent the form that takes it away? In Norse myth, the creatures that sorted through the battle-worthy dead were the Valkyrie, and I know you are a fan. Much as the way gender is assigned to the Judeo-Christian God, where the term "He" is applied, why does Death have to be assigned a specific gender? Besides do you want to go into afterlife/oblivion in abject terror or abject terror with a boner?
DrNightmare: I've had just about enough of your Smart Sexy Librarian fetishes! Let's talk to an ordinary guy I picked of the mean E-Streets of the Interweb. Yo, Gandicles! What do you think of this figure?
Gandicles: I don't know who she is, but she's hot. I'm a little jealous too, check-out that 6-pack! And that kung-fu grip!
DrNightmare: If this figure were $20 would you still buy it?
Gandicles: Maybe
DrNightmare: What if I told you she also came with a cape and a huge-ass sword?
Gandicles: How huge we talkin' here?
DrNightmare: It's as long as her boobs are large.
Gandicles: Twenty dollars seems a little pricey for an action figure, even a hot chick in lingerie with a big damn sword. However, were I a fan of her series, I would definitely consider it.
DrNightmare: Is there anyhting that bothers you about this figure?
Gandicles: Aside from the fact that she has clothes on?
DrNightmare: Yes, that's a given, aside from that.
Gandicles: From the pics I see, it looks like she's a little lacking in the articulation department, which severely hampers my perverse sense of humor.
And there you have it, ladies and gents! A real woman's thoughts on some of the current female figures available on the market. Well, a woman, a guy pretending to be a sexy librarian, and a regular guy who says sword-size doesn't matter. When it comes to action figures!
----------
About our guests:
Splitty is a collector of odd and terrifying figures of all types, though she tends to favor those extra-freaky things that come out of Japan. Her knack for drawing the most grotesque characters ever is surely a gift from the Gods, Dark or otherwise, and can be cowered from here. A former Redhead, her presence is always welcome.
Esbat likes to make comics with his action figures and sometimes writes some artsy-fartsy fantasy crap in collaboration with a few other of his associates. Take a gander at his blog-page, to catch-up on their work thus far. When he's not editing stories furiously or scraping cat-hair off the furniture, he likes to go outside and dodge bullets on the mean streets of Texas.
Gandicles is some guy living near the Pacific Ocean that likes to sleep in abandoned downtown warehouses when the mood strikes. He owns an elliptical exercise gym-thing that he uses to shake milk-shakes into frothy milky goodness.
_________
