I want to thank every one of you readers out there for visiting Articulated Discussion. With GI Joe fever running wild, you have many choices for where to go for your Rise of Cobra reviews, but the fact that you're here means a lot to all of us here at AD. And because you've come to us, we try to provide you with the most entertaining reviews we can muster.
Speaking for my own contributions, here you won't find tedious comparisons of one Joe figure to a similar one released decades before. You won't find page after page of rude Scarlett-on-Helix action (because Scarlett hasn't arrived in the mail yet). What you will find is an honest review of a figure that you may or may not want to buy, a figure that yearns for your love and attention, and I only hope to help you decide whether you should care for it or kick it to the curb like a Redheaded step-child. Wait, I am VERY displeased with that awful simile! Who would get rid of a Redhead!? You fiends!!
Name: Elite-Viper
Line: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Manufacturer: Hasbro
Released: Summer 2009
Price: Retail: $6.99-$7.99, Online $7.99-$12.99
Scale: 3.75 In. (figure is about 4.00 in. tall)
Accessories: Axe, two machine-guns, nefarious pistol, pistol-holster,body armor, BFG, baseplate
Sponsor Listings: Past Generation Toys-$8.95
What kept me from collecting GI Joe figures for a long time was one thing: They were ugly. No, that's not a fair assessment, it's more like they were simply unattractive. Clunky, bulbous, and then when they made female figures that should have been bulbous and curvy, they made them bulky and man-ish instead, pretty awful. But then we got the 25th Anniversary line, wow, hell of an improvement! The figures finally looked human! Then The Rise of Cobra figures slithered into town and wow again! More new sculpts with all the articulation you need. I was sold. And now, here I am, 17 Joes over the course of 3 days later, telling you why now is a great time to be a GI Joe fan.
These figures have so much precise and intricate detail that they can even top other popular lines like Marvel Legends and DC Superheroes. It's heart-breaking that we haven't gotten this kind of quality in larger figures for a long time, at least not without paying $20 for the figure. The armor looks like metal, the straps look secure, and the pants even have sparse elastic ribbing and pockets for realism. The ribbed shirt of the torso looks familiar, but the armor hides it and the rest of him looks nifty anyway.
There's a tendency for movie character-designs to have overly-elaborate costumes, this figure suffers a little bit from that, but for some reason, it also looks simple enough to not look too ridiculous. The helmet looks like paintball gear because of those jagged lines at the mouthpiece, though you could just call them "fangs". It bugs me that the visor is bulging a little, even though on the package-art the visor is clearly flat and recessed. The removable armor on the torso is highly ribbed and segmented, but that's understandable, it gives your troops more maneuverability, it also has a vaguely snake-like motif. I am amazed at how natural the body-armor looks, it's not bulky at all, even the sculpted shoulderpads aren't a problem. It all has a majorly blasted effect to it despite being smooth, these guys can take a beating! The backpack is also removable and looks realistic, you can even store the two machine-guns and axe on it. What bugs me about it though is that the peg that it uses to plug into the figure's back is too flexible, so it may take a few tries to attach the pack securely through the armor. You don't have to worry about the weapons being flimsy, they are made of sturdier stuff.
It's funny that many of the Cobra troops' I.D. Cards say things like "Defenders of Cobraaaaa! Trained to use the most advanced weaponry in the world!", and this Elite Viper is no exception, but he doesn't get the big honking nefarious-looking blasters his mates get. Instead he gets an ordinary pair of compact machine-guns, then goes even more old-school with a an axe, hah! This guy is gonna go medieval on Duke's ass! It looks like one of the ice-axes I used to sell, an axe/hammer combo tool, and I can tell you for certain those things are lethal in the wrong hands. The pistol that stores in the removable leg-holster does look sinister I'll admit, definitely doesn't look like something you want pointed at you. Does it shoot sonic-booms? Melts things? Blows bubbles? You don't want to find out.
Sculpt Score: 8 / 10
When having little paint, the bit that is there tends to enhance or dull the figure. Fortunately what's here is cleanly painted. Most of the figure is cast in a dark-teal color, it looks good, but you get the standard plasticky appearance. The shins look like black plastic with the teal part painted on and it's matched perfectly, it's just a little more dull compared to the naked plastic color. The armor's battered effect comes from the metal dry-brushing, the quick streaky painting at the factory actually helped in this case! The mask and backpack are just black plastic. This figure, and most Joe figures, would look awesome if completely painted, but I'm already not too happy paying $8 a pop for them, I don't want them bumping up to $10!
Paint Score: 8 / 10
Even while carrying all his gear, this Viper can still wriggle with the best of them. The current standard articulation for these figs is satisfying, the only complaints being that the elbows are Swivel-Hinges instead of Double-Hinges and the Pivot in the torso could stand to bend to the sides, not just forward and back. The shoulders move freely since the shoulderpads don't interfere at all. The legs move impressively at the hips, though the lack of a thigh-swivel makes a few poses look awkward.
Both machine-guns fit snugly in the hands, but only the right hand has a trigger finger. The left is semi-open to hold the axe, but it's too wide open for the handle so the axe won't stay. Either wrap some tape around the handle or find a way to tighten the grip, you could also use the clear rubber-bands included with some of the figures. He can hold the axe two-handed though, and the pistol fits in either hand.
Articulation Score: 8 / 10
He has an axe! He could shoot you in the face but he's like "No, I'm gonna chop you into pieces instead for making me miss breakfast." Plus that wacky little pistol could do just about anything, what the hell is that thing? I'm convinced it's a pistol-grip dremel or a laser-guided nose-hair trimmer.
I'd give a higher rating if I had more of these Vipers, armies are always fun when you're the one commanding them. If you buy one lonely Elite Viper, then he has to be careful, he can't take awesome crazy fun risks or he might get quickly killed-off. All it takes is one stray bullet or a misfiring nose-hair trimmer and SQUISH! There go his brains! Then who's going to protect Destro, huh!? Buy a bunch of these guys and some of the other kind of troops too, don't let death by accidental brain-squishing happen to you.
Fun Score: 8 / 10
Aside from the armor bits, this figure is plain-looking. The colors do mesh well together, but no 4-inch toy should be 8 bucks. What you have to do is abuse the sale TRU has going! As of this review, they still have the "Buy 2 for $10" sale on movie-Joes. Some even give you a free $10 gift card when you spend over $30 on Joe merchandise! So, you can buy 6 figures for over $30 after tax and get $10 free. Then after 6 hours the card activates and you can go back and get 2 more figures for FREE! You just pay like 90 cents for tax. That's 8 figures for about $30, if you bought them retail, 8 of these figures would cost you $70, pretty slick, eh?
Along with every figure, you get their standard weapons and accessories plus a dog-tag shaped stand and a miscellaneous BFG. There's no practical use for the giant blaster, but hey, it's free, lol. And those things shoot hard! They are fun to play with, but I'd rather get like 3 more useful accessories than that eyesore.
Value Score: 7 / 10
8 / 10 - Does a good job at simplifying the overly-complex movie-design.
8 / 10 - Smooth and gives the armor a ravaged effect.
8 / 10 - Effective and unobtrusive.
8 / 10 - Buy enough of them and you can drown your enemies in plastic, awesome!
7 / 10 - Retail value is iffy, but you can find lots of sales right now.
80 / 100 - This is a Great Toy
These figures are small and well-crafted, they make us wonder why some of the other toys in this scale aren't as good.
And sorry for the ugly white backgrounds in two of the pictures, I was experimenting with camera settings, and failed obviously! Also, a huge thank you to vising6969 on Ebay for giving me great prices on GI Joes and even shipping them loose, you know what a pain in the arse those things are to open sometimes! So please take a look at what she has left for sale!
-DrNightmare
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