[TAO's Note: Join guest reviewer go fig as he looks at this plastic version of the queen of video games. He's already reviewed a rendition of Lara Croft in the past, but his opinions are very different this time around. Keep reading to see what I mean.]
Name: Lara Croft
Line: Player Select, Tomb Raider Anniversary
Manufacturer: NECA
Released: August 2007
Price: Retail: $16.99, Online: $9.99-$15.99
Scale: 7.00 in.
Accessories: 2 signature pistols, rectangular plastic base and clear plastic stand
This is really a mixed bag. Let’s start with the basics. Like most [every] women, this Lara Croft figure looks great from the back. Her little knapsack is perfectly sculpted (made up of hard plastic) and her delicate (non-pliable) ponytail is sculpted to give off the “flipping up” movement, which is a nice touch. Lara’s holsters are made up of hard plastic and can hold her twin signature pistols snuggly. Her legs seem to be well-proportioned, so no complaints there. What I especially like about the sculpt is the attention to Lara’s boots. This is probably the first time I’ve ever seen a fully-sculpted “bottom” of any character’s foot/shoe/boot/etc. You can see the intricate detailing of the laces tied together. Even the slight creases right by the heel counter. All is well, if you ignore that gaping hole, right on her well-proportioned behind.
Lara’s given a nice perky errr… chest. And she has some unnaturally sexy thighs (not that I’m complaining or anything). But even those features can’t prepare you for the horrors that await unsuspecting collectors. I’m sure you’ve heard of the term “butter face,” right? For those uninitiated, a “butter face” is short for “everything but her/the face.” In other words, everything looks great, but her face. When I first heard that, I had a laugh. I still do whenever someone says it. Lara’s face is just atrocious! I’ve read reviews that say she looks “Asian” or at the most “not English.” Those reviewers were being generous. Lara doesn’t resemble anything human. Everything about her face is just WRONG. I still remember the shock when I first received this figure back in the day. My first thought was “someone’s playing a real cruel joke on me, right?” I blinked a few times, rubbed my eyes, but the atrocious figure was still… atrocious.
Months before Lara’s release, NECA described the process of sculpting Lara on their website (necaonline.com). Interestingly, the news and pictures of the Lara sculpt have mysteriously vanished. The pictures of sculpt were breathtaking. Without the paint, Lara was still easily recognizable. So you can imagine my shock and disappointment when I received this piece of s-… you get the idea. You’ll notice that most online retailers will only post stock photos and not the actual item. I wonder why that is… So, what’s the point of the intricate detail-work of a character’s body if you can’t even sculpt the face? I just don’t understand how NECA shows off an amazing sculpt of Lara on their website and then ship out these shoddy Laras to unsuspecting customers?
I wish NECA had done something more interesting with their quite large plastic base. A detailed “jungle with ruins” sculpted base would’ve been a perfect match for this otherwise horrible figure.
Sculpt Score: 2 / 10
This is where things go bad for Lara (again). NECA's quality control over the paint application is just awful. Let’s start with the most important feature: Lara’s face. If you look closely, you’ll notice a generous portion of brown paint applied under Lara’s lower eyelids. Why? Maybe the painter wanted to depict Lara’s sleepless nights from raiding tombs. Whatever the case may be, you have my sincere thanks for ruining the figure, pal. Uh… wait a minute, why are Lara’s upper eyelids applied with brown paint as well? Probably to match the brown paint applied to her lower eyelids. Can’t be inconsistent with our paint applications now, can we? So maybe you can explain to me why Lara’s nostrils are painted brown? Somebody seriously loves his or her brown paint. Lara’s eyes are painted in such awkward fashion that she either looks seriously pissed-off or as a seriously pissed-off zombie. Ahh… such workmanship makes my heart sing. Also Lara’s lips aren’t fully painted, so it looks like she just took a bite of a Sour Patch Kids [candy]. If you examine the top of Lara’s head, you’ll see that our obsessed brown paint applicator forgot to do his or her job and left a “bald spot” underneath the left bang on poor Lara.
Let’s move onto the rest of Lara’s torso. You have the usual sloppy paint applications: the teal-colored tank top has smeared on Lara’s neck and left shoulder; a combination of both the “flesh-colored” and brown paint applications bleeding through Lara’s tank top all over her body; the brown color of her short shorts has caught onto the bottom of her body-hugging tank top as well. There’s a smear of black paint on Lara’s thigh, right where her holster is. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, they in fact do. There’s a quite visible green-colored (paint or plastic) peeking out underneath Lara’s right knee.
If you examine Lara’s hands, you’ll notice that she clearly has leprosy or some serious skin issues. Her fingers/fingernails are covered in reddish-brown paint. Although it’s only a figure, it makes me cringe each time I see Lara’s hands.
Paint Score: 0 / 10
::Yawn:: Once again, NECA has graced us with their standard “statuesque” fare, as Lara has the “standard” (minimal) articulation: ball-jointed neck, ball-jointed shoulders, swivel wrists, and swivel boots. I’d replace the swiveling boots (don’t even know why they bother with such useless articulation) with a swiveling torso. NECA should understand by now that Lara Croft should be fully-articulated since she raids tombs for a living (or at least in her games). So I ask once again, where’s the extra articulation? Lara should at least be able to bend her arms and knees, and be given enough articulation so that she can do a high kick in the air. There's a reason why we call toys like this, ACTION figures, right? Swivel boots don’t count towards articulation.
Articulation Score: 3 / 10
Lara comes pre-posed in a dynamic “leaping into the air” sequence, which would be impressive if everything else (mentioned above) were done right. Even if you swivel Lara’s head towards her imaginary foes, she will never be able to look at them directly (I just noticed this) because her eyes are painted in such a way that she’s permanently cross-eyed. Hey, at least her weapons can be holstered without any problems. Also the clear plastic stand [which inserts into Lara’s behind and fits like a charm] allows you to “Matrix-spin” Lara around.
Fun Score: 1 / 10
This figure has been retailing for $16.99 when it first arrived in stores. You can probably find a better deal now since several years have passed. With all the negatives and not much positive remarks, I would have to say this figure is an absolute waste of plastic. If you still want it, by all means, go ahead. But I recommend that you get your head checked first.
Value Score: 1 / 10
2 / 10 - Is that you, Lara?
0 / 10 - Way too many problems. How can NECA even think of releasing such an inferior figure?
3 / 10 - Lara still needs more articulation.
1 / 10 - Even a garbage can would refuse this figure.
1 / 10 - I would stay away from this figure. Hopefully, there will be better ones in the future.
32 / 100 - This is a Bad Toy
This is by far the worst Lara Croft figure sculpted. I strongly believe NECA needs to brush up on their lack of quality control before they can start charging high prices for an otherwise inadequate representation of an iconic videogame character. Tomb Raider fan or not, you’d be better off spending your money elsewhere. If you can find S.O.T.A.’s Lara Croft “The Cradle of Life” figure, get that instead.
-go fig
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