Frog-man leaps in pain
old man there
catches, scrambles brains. 

Name: Cobra Lamprey and Dr. Mindbender
Line: GI Joe, Defense of Cobra Island Seven Pack
Manufacturer: Hasbro
Released: 2009
Price: Online: $35.00-$60.00
Scale: 3.75 in. (Lamprey is about 3.80 in. to top of the head, a little taller if you count the helmet; Mindbender is about 4.15 in.) 
Accessories: Cobra Lamprey - MachineGun, Pistol, Vest (removable)
                   Dr. Mindbender - Coat, Magic Rifle?, Harness (removable)
Sponsor Listings: Past Generation Toys-$44.95

 
      Now, we all have our own reasons for liking a character who runs around half naked wearing what appear to be S&M suspenders, I happen to like the shiny monocle. For such an old-looking dude, Mindbender looks as fit as Gung-Ho, probably because they use the same torso. He also looks a little like the Iron Shiek, I wouldn't be surprised if he was based on Shiek's likeness considering the other wrestling-characters in G.I. Joe history. The bare arms look good, but the stomach area looks off somehow, it's too chiseled. The small of the back looks artificial, theres a much-too-rounded curve there separating muscles. Legs are from modern Crimson Guard figures, which actually look scrawny compared to the torso's beefcake physique, but the boots are still looking as sexy and functional as ever. The holster is useless, Crimson Guards can't use it effectively and neither can Mindbender. I guess that's why he's not wearing shorts too. There's a a sculpted belt at the waist, with some added gadgets, the belt on the harness can slip over those easily and stays in place. I don't know what's in all those pouches, I'm guessing Windex and scalp wax, but they're slim enough that they don't bulge through the coat. There's lots of detail on the whole contraption, the straps look like rods chained together, maybe to symbolize some slavery? Man, this figure is deep. The coat itself is fabric and looks good enough, of course it'll never hang well or look as good as a sculpted jacket, but you get poseability in trade. It has a large pale silver COBRA logo silk-screened/ironed to the back.

The Lamprey is without a doubt one of the better updates of the old figures. I have to admit, I would have loved to see the Moray trooper get the update instead because they look so frikkin' badass, but this guy doesn't disappoint. He's not shiny silver like the original fig, but grey instead, and it's a welcome change. The vest is updated (or maybe retro-graded; the original was a smooth chest-armor kind of piece) to look more modern, complete with dials and clasps and other meticulous detailing. The body is made-up of parts we've seen bfefore, but customizers may find it interesting that the majority of the parts are used on the scalper-friendly Alpine figure too. So, if you don't want to pay $50 for that one hard-to-find figure, pay $50 for this 7-pack and make your own!

The sculpt is great overall, but is a tad boring to look at because of the solid colors. All that detail goes away when viewed at a distance, but I don't see Hasbro having every single Joe figure dry-brushed anytime soon. And the more I look at this figure, the less like an aquatic trooper it seems. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was an astronaut of some sort, and that would be fine too. The baggy clothes just don't scream "I love water", I guess this guy works closer to land, scraping barnacles off ships' hulls in the repair bays maybe? He still has to wear his diving mask though, just to mess with him. It's not removeable, but the blue face-shield is, neat. The backpack is a generic sculpt with hoses running into the helmet, the hoses can be popped-out of the helm. The big clunky boots are distracting, they look like the kind of gear people use to scale Mt Everest, bad decision. Unless, you know, there are shoes out there this big that are suitable for aquatic environments.

Lamprey Sculpt Score: 9 / 10

Dr. Mindbender Sculpt Score: 8 / 10

     There isn't much paint on Mindbender, and what little there is could have used some more TLC. The torso and crotch is flesh-colored plastic (a frightening fact) with purple paint all over the crotch. It's a perfect color-match with the purple-cast legs. The paint spills over and is fuzzy at the waist-line, but the belt/harness covers that area entirely, no biggie. The harness isn't treated all that well either, it's black with sloppy dark-silver dry-brushing, but it gets the point across that the straps are metal. The gloves are flesh-plastic colored black and have a satin-smooth finish, very nice. But the tops aren't completely painted, so when viewed from certain angles, the gloves look like they're filled with flesh-paint...ew. The moustache and eyebrows are sloppily painted, a huge letdown, especially with such magnificent specimens as Dr Mindbender's, but at least the eye and monocle are crisp. There are little dabs of silver on the boots to highlight the buttons and clasps there.

A solid gray figure can be very dull, and Lamprey almost is (being casted entirely in gray), but the two-tone blues and blobs of white/black/gold help break-up the monotony. This is a trooper in desperate need of a heavy-handed dry-brushing, there is soooo much detail in the sculpt that the decision to not paint it all should be punishable by drowning and decapita- uh, by being smacked by a NERF bat! Gotta keep the site PG-13! ;D The vest is adorned with lots of straps and ridges and buckles and even the white gauges have sculpted notches in them as indicators, such a shame there isn't at least a wash on the entire thing. It just looks like an incomplete job. The gloves, boots, and backpack with hoses are fully-painted in their respective colors. The guns are silver-gray plastic. What little paint is on the figure is fairly well-applied.   

Lamprey Paint Score: 8 / 10

Dr. Mindbender Paint Score: 7 / 10

 

      This old man sure can move, almost all standard articulation is present. The torso can pivot forward and back a little (less than usual) and not side-to-side at all, bummer. And I'll complain again, there's no reason why that movement shouldn't be there. If a schmuck like me can add it easily, the Hasbro big-wigs should be able to do it too, and better. I'm gonna guess this was an older mold, before they improved their GI Joe figures. Almost all of the Joe figs out today have excellent articulaton, even the larger bulkier ones.

Lamprey has the same problem with the torso, though he can move further back and forth. Seeing this crappy articulation in the chest is like playing the video game Sonic & Knuckles and then playing Sonic 1 right after, you see the horribly pixelated characters, the lack of Power-Ups, no TAILS! Like being in the stone-age, man! Fine, not that dramatic, but it's still annoying. The torso doesn't move at all with the vest on. The elbows are a little limited because of the sleeves' sculpt, but most erveryhting else is a-okay. Except for the boots, they can't be tilted upwards, and there is a slight curve in the soles that makes it hard to stand the figure up in certain positions (you'll notice the lack of action-pics for this fig in this review). 

Lamprey Articulation Score: 7 / 10

Dr. Mindbender Articulation Score: 7 / 10

 

      I don't know what the hell Mindbender uses that big fancy stick for, but I'm sure it hurts a lot. It looks enough like a rifle to bluff some Greenshirts into submission and looks solid enough to put a whompin' on them as well. That ribbed area makes it look like a ray-gun too so there's no telling what he's going to do with it, just stay out of its sights! You can easily slip the coat off and toss it around to your other troops, who need a stylish accessory to make fun of The Matrix movies. And come on, The doc looks so doofy! It's funny, he looks like the Pringles guy. He looks so bizarre compared to many of the others within COBRA's ranks (except for the ridiculous Alley Viper of course :) ). I would have liked him to look more like a bald Tom Selleck. Why? Well, have you seen Tom Selleck? YUM. And mind-control, Mindbender is a master at it, any time he shows up on the field you know stuff is about to get crazy so you'd better be on guard!

Nothing better than a troop who can multi-task. Is the Lamprey a diver? A hovercraft operator? A pilot? A space cowboy? He's whatever you want him to be! I love that the vest isn't too bulky, if equipment looks like it doesn't fit, that ruins a lot of the fun, I think. I can't take a toy seriously if it looks like the Stay-Puft Man (unless it IS the Big Bad Puff himself, of course!). Lots of the gear is removable; Vest, backpack, pistol, and visor, and it you remove the vest, there's a sculpted belt underneath so this guy still looks fashionable. I love this holster, Hasbro has refined them dramatically, a huge step-up from the hideous plastic chunks figures like Red Star had. The weapons look okay, not hyper-detailed, but the pistol looks nifty. It looks like it could shoot lasers, or needles, I would have liked a knife too but then I'd probably complain that there's no place to store it, heh. But seriously, come on, NEEDLE-GUNS! They're the future, man!  

Lamprey Fun Score: 8 / 10

Dr. Mindbender Fun Score: 7 / 10

     Mindbender is a nifty addition to the already awesome line-up in this 7-pack, but also the weakest. I mean, he's a guy in purple pants with no shirt, and he can't even turn into a giant green monster. He comes with only one odd rod accessory and 2 decent pieces of gear to wear, paltry when compared to figures like the Pit Commando who comes with like 50 accessories crammed into the package, all for retail price. But again, if you can get the 7-pack for anything under $60, you've got yourself a great deal.

The Lamprey is definitely worth getting, look at him, he's awesome. Both figures are useful for custom-fodder, Lamprey has really nice pants and I think my Punisher figure wants them. 

Lamprey Value Score: 8 / 10

Dr. Mindbender Value Score: 7 / 10

 

Lamprey 80 / 100 - This is a Great Toy

A pretty design with a neat color-scheme. He actually looks neutral enough to be used on either GI Joe's or COBRA's side since he doesn't have any identifying marks. 

Dr. Mindbender - 72 / 100 - This is a Good Toy

I don't think he's a particularly out-standing figure, but he looks wacky enough to give him a chance. Bare-chested guys with monocles, how bad could they be?

-DrNightmare

*The figures in this review were provided as product samples by the manufacturer, but every effort is made to objectively review all figures.* 

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